Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I am one with the molecules
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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