I wanna bring you to show and tell
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just forgot I was standing up.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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