Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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