There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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