OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
