Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
