i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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