Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
