We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
