So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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