i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
