we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
