He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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