I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
