that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
