My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
