Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
