dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Randomize
