No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
