I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
