Sry I called you an 8
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
