How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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