he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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