cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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