Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
