Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
