He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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