Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
