Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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