i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
