no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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