This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
