You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
