i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
