I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
