It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
