Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I want to make a zoo with you.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
