I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
