Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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