There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
