I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
