why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
