you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
