My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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