Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
