Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize