Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
