I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So gin and wine won't be happening again
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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