I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
zippers are such a cool invention
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
