I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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