Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
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