Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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