All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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