i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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