He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
