Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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