So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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