I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i need some magic done to my vagina
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize