I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
