Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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