I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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