I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
