someone get that fucking seahorse.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
