He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
